Blood is a tragically beautiful thing
As it makes its' way down a pale white face
Oh, the sadness and relief it can bring
With my finger, the red bloodstain I trace
Some would say the sight makes them feel queasy
The sharp contrast of blood flowing from skin
She see's beauty, blood flowing so easy
As the smile on her face becomes thin
There's a slight glint of malice in her eyes
Defying sleep in the middle of night
Through the surface comes the madness she hides
With the moon in the sky; the only light
She wonders how you feel right before death
What it's like to take one last relieved breath
Whoa, I don't know exactly what this is about, but it sure is powerful! You used incredible imagery and descriptive language in this, and it evokes very powerful feeling. Great job!
ReplyDeleteAgree with Hannah, Dani-- this is powerful, and a bit disturbing, BECAUSE it's so potent. The imagery combined with the almost enamored tone produces a striking effect. I'm glad I saw all those pictures of what you're thankful for first, because this is heavy stuff.
ReplyDeleteYour line about the moon being "the only light" made me think, because I wasn't sure if you wrote it on a literal level, to imply simply a very dark & eerie setting, or if it was more figurative to imply a loss of hope. In any case, it made me so fervently wish for all of my students that they would be able to discover the permanent light and hope that gets me through every day. Lately when I pray in the morning for peace I imagine it as a river, limitless in its quantity, flowing through me and sustaining me through every season.
Whether your poem is written from a personal perspective or simply highlights the very real fascination with death that many hurting people encounter, it reminds me of the urgency of the gospel. This is a broken, hurting world in desperate need of real hope.
One point off for missing punctuation, but all in all, this is a powerful poem.
Love you chickie.
14/15
I'm definitely picking up on some Dexter influences and maybe some reference to your recent battle with insomnia?? Regardless of the poem's meaning this was really, really well written!!! Excellent imagery and evocative word choices!
ReplyDelete