Friday, September 20, 2013
My House
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
The analogy that C.S. Lewis uses in this quote was like an "ah-ha!' moment for me. I have been told for as long as I can remember that "Jesus is living inside me" or "your body is the temple for the Holy Spirit". I heard these things so often throughout my childhood that it either lost its meaning- or I simply was spacing out or daydreaming too much to fully process this statement. When I read this part of Mere Christianity I finally made the connections.
At first He starts out just fixing the small things that need to be fixed quickly. Then some of the bigger "projects" start to take place. Things that are harder to fix. He begins to tear down your "house" and it doesn't feel good. This is the part that seems to be the hardest for me, probably along with quite a few others. No one likes to be in pain, and no one likes feeling vulnerable. So when things that hurt badly start to take place, I personally begin to question things. Why would God be doing this? How is good going to come from this situation? It hurts, and I don't like it. I often feel uncomfortable and frankly, I don't like feeling uncomfortable.
Though it hurts sometimes, it is good to remember that God will never put you through more than He knows you can handle. He isn't hurting you, it just feels that way sometimes. In actuality, He is making something amazing out of you... a castle, or a palace, or something even more marvelous that Hogwarts (which is the most wonderful piece of architecture I can think of!).
Right now, I feel run down. I feel like that house on the corner that doesn't match any of the other houses in the neighborhood. The one that is just beginning the renovation process. The house that isn't quite sure what color it wants to be painted. But I will figure it out. I may never turn out to be the most fantastic house in the neighborhood, or even fit in with the rest of the houses, but what matters is that I am being fixed –slowly but surely, I am being fixed.
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This is so good and so real. I like the fact that you pointed out a lot of issues that all of us have or probably will faced; such as being told something so much that it loses its meaning, or that it's okay to struggle when we come to a point in our lives that isn't actually easy. I also really like what you said at the end about how it doesn't matter that you're a really good looking house or that you fit in with the rest of the houses; it's about what's being done with the renovation- the inner changes.
ReplyDeleteI definitely had that AH-HA moment too when I read this part. I feel like, for some reason, we've forgotten that God might want to change everything about us even if we've known him for years. I think it's hard to image because Christianity has been dumped on us since elementary and we assume that we're passed this point in our relationship with God. It's so hard, after so many years of building ourselves up, to admit we constantly need help. And whenever we think our character is in a great place, we should take a second look. I don't know about you but I get really frustrated by the idea of constantly working on something that can't be totally fixed in this lifetime. It's like, "what's the point". With that being said, I feel like crap when I don't allow myself to be fixed. I mean, if you honestly had a choice, would you choose to stay the same, or would you allow yourself to let someone in who says, "listen, I know what's best, please let me help you." Even if we don't completely understand why or how this works, it seems like the better choice. Thanks D-dog, I hope your house gets a garage with a TARDIS as the designated motorized vehicle. That or a broomstick.
ReplyDeleteDani this is awesome, I had completely forgotten about that quote in the book before I saw your blog but I'm glad that I stumbled upon it! It is so easy for young Christian men and women, especially in a private school setting, to tone out the phrases "God loves us" or "Our hearts are God's dwelling place." How often have we used those statements in everyday conversation to describe our faith to someone else? The reality is, the transformation process that we go through in our faith struggle is much like a home-renovation process! Things get messy; walls and beams knocked out and built back up again, and it sucks. That isn't exactly an eloquent way to put it, but, let's face it, being vulnerable to absolute change is something that at least I know I'm not good at! The description of "your house" at the end was touchingly authentic, thank you for sharing your thoughts and I can just see the finished product being something RADICAL! ;) (Love the blog title by the way)
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this Dani!! I forgot about this quote but it makes so much sense! I know how you feel about being that little house that doesn't fit in. I tend to feel like that at school a lot. Just so you know, I do not think of you as that though! You are an amazing person and God is using you in some wonderful ways. You may not notice it now, but slowly you will see your little house be built up into a huge mansion for Christ! He is slowly forming you into something that none of us can imagine right now. I will tell you this though, that you will go places in life and touch many people with Gods love. I cant wait to see what God has in store for you! I love you dani and I love how you are so honest in here! :)
ReplyDeleteDani, great writing here, and your honesty is endearing-- you can see by the other comments that you've put words to what many people are similarly feeling. It makes me love you!
ReplyDeleteI feel so encouraged seeing all of you reckon with your faith the way that you are. There's so much open discussion about the hard aspects of following Christ on these blogs, and so much affirmation by all of you that you're not in it alone. And even as you all acknowledge it's hard, I also see you recognizing that it's worth it. I can't tell you how incredible it is to see all that, as your teacher.
For what it's worth, I love your quirky house and I see such tremendous things inside. Thank you for sharing this!
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