Poetry Madness

Let's Live Suddenly Without Thinking

by E.E. Cummings

let’s live suddenly without thinking

under honest trees,
                        a stream
does.the brain of cleverly-crinkling
-water pursues the angry dream
of the shore. By midnight,
                                a moon
scratches the skin of the organised hills

an edged nothing begins to prune

let’s live like the light that kills
and let’s as silence,
                            because Whirl’s after all:
(after me)love,and after you.
I occasionally feel vague how
vague idon’t know tenuous Now-
spears and The Then-arrows making do
our mouths something red,something tall

Reflection thingy or whatever this is

Throughout 2013, something I have thought about is the path I am taking through life, and how crucial it is to take a path that is enjoyable and beneficial to myself. It is my worst nightmare to wake up every morning at 45 years old, and drag myself to a job that I hate, and come home and the most exciting part of the day is watching jeopardy. It is important to take a path that is for you, instead of taking a path that was meant for someone else, in order to have a certain image or fit in or whatever.

Another thing I have though about is the need for something bigger than myself. Everything in this world is so fleeting. It's inevitable, but feelings, and relationships, and money, and jobs are all fleeting. None of those things even last. So it has been heavy on my mind how fleeting the world is and how it is important to have someone or something bigger than yourself to believe in. (ew how cheesy).

Something else that has been insanely prominent within the past year is descision making. With high school ending and the next chapter starting, there have been a LOT of big desicions to make. It is scary that basically the rest of our lives depend on how well we handle things as high schoolers. Making the wrong desicion or just choosing one option over another can change everything. That's pretty scary, but also really exciting. 

Lastly, I have thought a lot about how very small I am in this vast universe. This though always makes me desire to do something memorable, or do something big. Something that will make people remember me. It's a wierd thing for me to want, being one who has either always been pushed to the outside, or has always preferred to be on the outside. The idea of being the center of attention scares me but the idea of leaving a strong impression makes me happy. 

11 of many things I am thankful for

I am thankful for my horse Zephyr and all the happiness/trauma he has brought to my life. For all the things we have learned from each other and for all the good times we've had together. I'm thankful that when I'm having a bad day, he is always there to nuzzle his warm nose into my stomach, and that he lets me hang on his neck and bug him while he is eating, and braid his tail. I'm thankful that I have the best horse ever.

I'm thankful for concerts and being deaf for a week afterwards. And for making friends while waiting in line
and being packed into an exceedingly rambunctious crowd and having my hair pulled accidentally and also having a crowd surfer kick me in the face. It's all part of the experience. An experience that I am very grateful for.

I am eternally grateful for meeting Andrew VanWyngarden and all of his curly haired glory. That's all I have to say about that.

I am thankful for Seattle and all the cool things that are part of the city and also all the opportunities to take rad photos. I'm thankful for the rain, and the leaves, and also the warm summer days.

I am beyond thankful for my best friend, Amy. That we can have deep discussions about the origins of the universe and the existence of aliens. That we share the same music taste, that she can always make me laugh, that we can text each other at 4am when everything is hilarious and do really stupid stuff together. I'm thankful that I happened to meet someone that works the same way as I do and feels the same way about pretty much everything. 

I'm thankful for books, mostly Harry Potter, because it's nice to sit and relax on any given day, and read some Harry Potter. It's also a lovely way to enter a time warp, you just mean to read one chapter before bed and then suddenly you're finishing the book and the sun is rising, so I'm thankful for nights like that.

Also super thankful for Sonia, who has been with me through thick and thin, and introduced me to Harry Potter. I'm thankful for our crazy adventures and all of our future plans involving Sasquatch and a truckload of garbage. That we are both on the same wavelength when it comes to most things and that she can always make me laugh. I'm thankful that I have someone that keeps me from going more insane than I already am, and that we can waste hours on end watching dailygrace and crabstickz videos.

I'm thankful for my dad who is a huge inspiration to me and always has cool stories to tell from RISD and also always has constructive criticism and an honest opinion about my drawings and paintings. I'm thankful that I have the coolest dad ever and a plethora of amazing memories.

I'm supes thankful for maltesers cause yum. I'm thankful for their quality chocolate and their honey crisp wafer in the middle. And that's that.

I'm insanely thankful for my big brother. We didn't really get along as kids, but we do now. I'm thankful for having someone to rant to, and to have someone who is so intelligent and wise for only being 19. He is basically THEE coolest brother I could have ever asked for and I would be nothing like the way I am today if it weren't for John. He pushes me to try new things and I can't say I have ever regretted taking his advice. So, I'm thankful for that.

And last, but most certainly not least, I am thankful for British Sci Fi shows and more specifically: Doctor Who. I'm thankful for Daleks, but WAY more thankful  for The Doctor cause he saves the world from the Daleks. Oh, and of course I'm also thankful for Keaton, because it's awesome to have someone to obsess over Doctor Who with :)

Shakespearean Sonnet

Blood is a tragically beautiful thing
As it makes its' way down a pale white face
Oh, the sadness and relief it can bring
With my finger, the red bloodstain I trace

Some would say the sight makes them feel queasy
The sharp contrast of blood flowing from skin
She see's beauty, blood flowing so easy
As the smile on her face becomes thin

There's a slight glint of malice in her eyes
Defying sleep in the middle of night
Through the surface comes the madness she hides
With the moon in the sky; the only light

She wonders how you feel right before death
What it's like to take one last relieved breath

Hi I'm Ismene and I'm Obedient!

Antigone came to me, and asked if I would help bury our brother's body, against the order of Creon. I did not know what to do, or what to say! I do believe it is a shame that our beloved brother is not permitted to have a proper burial, but "to defy the state or break her ordinance I have no skill!" (79). I fear breaking the law, and do not want to suffer the consequences. It is the logical decision and as much as I loved our brother, I think it best to let this go. It is not something I view as worth the terrible consequences that could accompany this act of opposition. "Shall we not perish wretchedest of all, if in defiance of the law we cross a monarch's will?" (59-61). I am afraid I just cannot do that.

What would have become of me, if I broke this law. People would surely think poorly of me and I would die and be "abhorred" and "dishonored" just like my parents (50). I do not want to die, and be remembered that way. So I will stand firm in my place. "I perforce obey the powers that be. 'Tis foolishness, I ween, to overstep in aught the golden mean.'" (66-68). I much prefer to remain quiet and unnoticed –unpunished. Antigone was stubborn and had her mind made. She ran off determined to give our brother a proper burial. I am content staying on the sidelines, and not getting involved in such foolish behavior. I wish I could help, but it is best that I don't in this situation.

A Rather Contradictory Ginger

As I stepped out of my TARDIS, I saw a girl with unruly, long red hair. She was sitting on a bench, in a park, drawing a detailed portrait of a man. As I took a few steps closer, I noticed that the picture she was drawing, was a picture me. On her notebooks she had doodles and sketches of little cartoon aliens and spaceships. Papers spilling out in every which way, mostly drawings, but the occasional peice of homework would slip out between the rest. She had everything very put together, in the most disorganized way possible. The wind pulled her hair in multiple directions, but it seems she just agreed to let it do its' own thing. I walked over and sat down next to her, though she did not seem to notice, never losing focus on her drawing. She seemed very concentrated, but every so often she stopped and stared at her shoes, with the most absent minded stare. Almost as if she was in a completely different universe. She was pulled out of her apparent day dream when I said hello. Avoiding my eyes, she replied with a friendly hello, but in the most distant way. Her personality seemed to contradict itself quite a bit. I asked her for her name, and at that moment- she realized who I was. Her eyes got huge and her mouth dropped open slightly. Her cheeks turned red as she frantically stuffed away the drawing, which coincidentally was of the man sitting next to her. We began to chat, and slowly the shy and distant red head seemed to become significantly more vocal. She had a plethora of thoughts and opinions to share, but still avoided eye contact most of the time.

I invited her to travel through time and space with me, and she obviously said yes.

My trusty companion loved adventure, and danger, and the adrenaline rush, and being absolutely reckless. However at the same time she wanted the feeling of safety, she didn't like being vulnerable, and she didn't like the idea of dying. On the other hand, she was not at all scared of dying. She could quite possibly be one of the most contradictory people I have ever traveled with. She was incredibly disorganized, but had everything in the right order. She was shy, but strangely talkative once you got her going on something. Confident yet self conscious. Absolutely mental, but also relatively sane. She wanted nothing more than to see the whole world, but never wanted to get out of bed.

The Girl Who Lived

No one remembers when it started. I think I was born with it. For as long as I can remember, there was nothing I wanted more than a horse. Every Christmas, my request was the same, but the answer was always no. Every birthday, before I blew out my candles my mom would tell me, “don’t waste your wish on a horse, you can’t have one.” Of course I always would anyways.

Finally after 16 years worth of birthday wishes, I got a horse of my own. He was a 4-year-old Thoroughbred that raced at the local racetrack. No longer winning races as he once did, he was given to me as a gift. I changed his name to Zephyr, and got to retraining him and breaking his old racing habits. He had his fair share of rambunctious outbursts, and threw me on the ground several times. I didn’t mind though.

We quickly earned each other’s trust and worked as one. By the time the summer before my senior year rolled around, it was time to have my senior portraits taken. Because Zephyr had been such an influential part of my life, I wanted to take my pictures with him. Things were going swell, until he decided to throw a bit of an untimely tantrum. He spun around so he was facing me, and reared all the way up onto his hind legs. I looked up at this massive animal as he thrashed his front legs about. Determined to not let go of his reins, I stood my ground. I had never been fearful of horses, and especially not my own. I was in the process of scolding Zephyr; when his front hoof came down, square on my head. I hit the ground, and could feel my horse tugging on the reins, and backing up. Upon hitting the ground I immediately jumped up to calm him down, and make sure he didn't run off. Not realizing that I had blood streaming down the side of my face, I asked my mom what was wrong, as she started to press a paper towel to my bloodied head. I then asked her if I was bleeding, and if it had ruined my white shirt. After calling 911, it started to sink in what had just happened, although I wasn’t quite sure of the severity.

I had a four-inch laceration that went all the way down to my skull. I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance (exciting!) where they did a CT scan on my head and gave me thirteen stitches. Incredibly enough, I left the hospital that night with nothing more than 13 stitches, a gnarly looking head, and of course a bit of head trauma. On the way home from the hospital, I forced my mom to stop at the barn so I could check on Zephyr to make sure he was doing alright.

Had I been kicked just a little bit off to the side, I could’ve been severely injured or even killed. I realized that night: I have a tremendous amount of passion for horses, and even knowing how seriously I could’ve gotten injured, I still couldn’t stay away. My passion doesn’t end with horses, however. I have the ambition to get myself into an artistic field, and succeed. To go as high as my abilities will take me, and still work at going higher. I have the desire to do well in the things that I work at, and the amount of passion inside me drives me to do the things I love. To work hard with my horse, to do my best in school, to practice my art until I can no longer keep my eyes open. I have such an immense amount of passion, that nothing will be able to keep me down. When I am fervent about something, I will find a way to make it happen.